


i don't have the strength to resist or control you

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: LITERALLY, M/M, Skull Fucking, just some writing to build to the sex, overuse of commas, penis in the eye socket, this would never happen, why, why oh why, you can't call it a plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-20
Updated: 2013-06-20
Packaged: 2017-12-15 13:21:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/850008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this was for a prompt at the 1d kink meme.</p>
<p>.....</p>
<p>what am i doing with my life</p>
    </blockquote>





	i don't have the strength to resist or control you

**Author's Note:**

> this was for a prompt at the 1d kink meme.
> 
> .....
> 
> what am i doing with my life

ten minutes.

ten minutes harry spent in silence, simply staring at him. at _louis_. louis, the bastard who  harr couldn’t even look at the same way, and he was sitting with their mates, as if nothing was wrong. totally oblivious. he was all smiles and cheeky comments, niall had beer coming out his nose, and liam was trying to stop zayn from choking on his food. it was normal, they were all normal.

and then there was harry.

he sat with wide, awestruck eyes, staring at louis with such intensity that he was surprised that there wasn’t a hole burning through the lad’s skull. figuratively speaking, of course.

harry didn’t come out of his thoughts until there was a hand waving in front of his face and a clap on the back.

“harry?” niall’s voice was wary but present nonetheless, seeping worry through every word. “you alright?”

he couldn’t answer properly, only nodded his head and stood up, separating the contact between them. “‘course. fine. jus’ tired.” taking a glance around the room, harry sighed when he seen no one else in the room. “tell the lads i’ve gone out.”

“they’re in the kitchen, tell ‘em yourself,” niall poked him rather harshly in the shoulder. “y’sure you’re fine? you haven’t said a word since we came.”

worrying, always worrying. niall doesn’t know when to stop. harry plastered on a smile as he went to the door, grabbing a coat from the rack beside it. he nodded quick and opened the door before slamming it loudly behind him.

///

_where are you? i thought we were having fun :(_

_are you okay??_

_niall’s vomited in your bed. i guess you’re sleeping with me :)_

_it’s been three hours haz._

_harry?_

_i’m going to bed. a text is all i ask._

harry just turned on his phone when there was six texts coming in from louis, as well as two missed calls and a voicemail. “honestly, lou. it hasn’t been _that_ long.” he knew he shouldn’t have up and left like that, he knew that running off to the park was a bad idea. but he couldn’t take the temptation. the urge to spit it out. “ _i know your secret!”_ scream it from the rooftops.

there was also that part of him that didn’t understand how he didn’t find out sooner. he felt betrayed. from day one, he’d been nothing but honest when it came to louis. anything and everything, it was laid out bare on the table for louis to hold and keep secret. fuck, _everything._ from his first time with a boy to his secret dislike for kiwis. but louis.. it was like he was unfaithful. louis didn’t trust him. and that hurt.

he was pulled from his mulling by another chime of his phone.

_i wish you were here right now. i need tea but i’m too comfy. how can you leave me alone? :’(_

and then another.

_the boys are gone if that’s what you’re worried about_

sighing loudly, harry replied with a _be there soon x_ and locked his phone, starting back the way he came.

///

the lights were off but the door was unlocked when he got home. harry hung up his jacket and toed off his boots, nudging them beside louis’ vans. there was a low murmur of music coming from the back of the house, meaning louis hasn’t gone to sleep yet, and he wasn’t planning on it any time soon.

he went to the kitchen first to start the kettle for louis. even though he really, really, _really_ wanted to just pass out on the couch, he decided that maybe it wouldn’t be such a good idea now that louis seemed to be worried about him. after the tea was made, one spoon of sugar and a splash of milk, harry carried the mug in cold hands to louis’ bedroom, passing his own and fighting the urge not to peek inside to see if niall really did ruin his bedsheets.

“glad to see you haven’t died.”

harry gave an airy chuckle at louis’ words, kicking the door shut with his foot before handing over the mug of tea. “i didn’t think me leaving would’ve been that bad.”

louis was sitting with the blankets pooled at his waist and pillows propping up his back. his fringe was down and in his eyes; harry had to resist the urge to brush away the hair as he began to strip down to his boxers.

“a text would’ve been nice. niall worried himself sick when you were gone.” louis sipped noisily for a moment. “said you looked spooked about something. you sure it’s nothing?”

_no_ , his brain screamed, _no, it’s not nothing._ but he didn’t answer, only crawled over louis’ small body and to the empty side. the blankets were pulled down, making it easy for him to slide in comfortably.

“harry?” he grunted to show he was listening as he pulled the sheets to his chin. “tell me what’s wrong. is it me? did i do something?”

of course louis thought it was him. and, while it was, harry suddenly felt terrible for the accusation. either way, he stayed silent and shook his head as an answer.

there was some shuffling before there was a body plastered against harry’s backside and a pair of lips were at the back of his neck, pressing small kisses to the soft skin. “look at me and answer me, harry. i’ll fix whatever’s happened. i promise, c’mon.”

harry flopped on his back and stared at the ceiling, quiet. he couldn’t look at louis in the eye.. fuck, he just couldn’t. and then:

“you’ve got a fake eye, louis.”

“...what?”

he rolled over on top of louis and grabbed the lad’s wrists, shoving them underneath louis’ body. “i seen. fuck, i seen you,” harry muttered, face close to louis’. with his hands free, he held louis’ cheeks firmly. “this morning, you- you took it out. god, lou, why didn’t you tell me?”

louis was still gobsmacked and silent, with his fucking blue eyes swimming with fear. and shit, if that didn’t hurt harry..

“why didn’t you tell me? it’s not, not like i’d hate you or whatever. but a fucking fake eye? how the hell did you keep that a secret? that’s _huge_ , and i thought you would have told me something like _this_! we’ve known each other for three years and i never knew? what kind of friend does that make me? a shitty one, i’ll tell you, just what the hell..”

he continued to blabber on and on about how he was so shocked, that he’s such a shitty person for making louis feel like he couldn’t tell him something like that, that it’s _not a big deal, yet you lied to me and i don’t understand_.

“...and another thing-”

“harry!” louis' shrill yell broke him from his reverie, the most beautiful tears pooling in his eyes. “haz,” he tried then, infinitely quieter. “it's not.. something you scream from the rooftops.”

harry’s brows furrowed together sitting back to straddle louis’ waist, freeing the other’s hands. “it’s not like i asked you to tell people, louis. just me. i thought we told each other everything. _i’ve_ told you everything about me, down to what i ate for breakfast this morning-”

“i cooked you breakfast.” louis’ voice was shaky and harry could _hear_ the sob threatening to surface.

“that’s beside the point. you lied and that’s shit. it’s not like i’d treat you any different.” he leaned down, pressing a kiss against louis’ tummy. “i love you, _so much_ , lou. hell, you could have one hundred eyes and i wouldn’t mind in the least..” he moved up and nosed against his collarbone, over his tattoo and kissing the underside of his jaw. “more of that beautiful blue to go around anyway.”

he halted his movements at louis’ sob, though when he looked up, it was more of laughter than sadness. louis had a shaky smile as he wiped away a fallen tear. “are you trying to sweet talk me about my one eye?”

“depends..” harry settled his hands over louis’ face and grinned, a dimple caving into his left cheek. “is it working?”

louis smacked harry upside the head and settled more into bed, and harry was never more thankful for the boy’s adhd than he was then. louis fell asleep within minutes, emotionally and physically drained from the day while harry had other.. pressing matters to attend to.

///

harry slept like shit. if at all.

he didn’t know why, but his thoughts were plagued with louis and his glass eye. a glass eye! about four a.m. he had dug his phone out of his jeans and googled how to remove a glass eye-- _what the fuck is wrong with him?_ and he couldn’t help it, the inside looked.... he was ashamed. he felt so dirty.

he rolled out of bed and make himself a cup of coffee, showered, rearranged their three bookshelves of music, even ran to the store for a couple minutes to get eggs.. and louis was just getting up, into the shower.

and if harry could have controlled himself, he would have.

opening the bathroom door, harry plopped himself on the vanity counter as he looked as his socked feet rather than focusing on the blurry image of louis behind the glass.

“can i see it?”

louis made a sound of confusion while a fresh crash of water hit the tub below his feet. “see what, baby?”

harry sighed loudly and scratched at his own eyes as an instinct. “your eye, lou. i wanna see you take it out and stuff.”

there was a beat of silence, before: “it’s.. harry, that’s personal, why-”

and harry certainly isn’t above begging in the least. “please? i wanna know what it looks like. _pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease_ -”

“okay, okay. let me finish up in here then. go wait in the bedroom.”

///

harry watched as louis stuck a finger on either side of his eye, his fucking _glass_ eye, and dug into the socket. it was strange, watching it happen directly in front of him. sure, he had watched videos, but this was so much more personal and interesting; the fact that literally _everything_ louis did was sexual didn’t help at all. slow finger and sure movements made him nearly melt right there.

the eye came out easily, and then it was sitting in louis’ palm. just sitting, the blue ring facing harry straight on. “so,” louis tried to break the awkward tension that he so clearly created.

“lou..”

he didn’t know what to expect, really. harry didn’t see a hole, as louis didn’t bother keeping the eye open, but a closed eyelid, though flat than the normal rounded. it was rimmed with long, fluttery dark lashed that were none other than louis’. he had yet to find a girl with prettier lashes than louis. not even zayn. licking his lips, harry reached a tentative hand up and used his thumb to brush along the lid. it was hollow, empty beneath; a strange feeling. but the sudden rush to his groin? that’s what had him blushing hard, his free hand moving to try and cover it up not so obviously.

“that’s..” his thumb never paused it’s ministrations, tracing around the hole but never dipping in.

“don’t talk. you’re making this weird, harry.”

“you’ve got a hole in your head.”

“and you’ve got an erection.”

harry brushed his thumb from louis’ closed eyelid to the top of his cheekbone, gulping audibly. “yeah, well.. i like all your holes, apparently.”

louis smirked at that, a small half smile as he clutched the glass eye harder. “you’re so fucking sick, hazza.” his tone was teasing and it honestly scared harry for a moment. but the smirk fell and they were left to bask in the thick blanket of silence.

until: “harry.. you can, um.. take care of that.. if you want.”

harry’s heart stopped when he heard those words. he didn’t know what to say.. so he didn’t respond. only looked at him ridiculously. his hands dropped to his lap and his dick clearly straining against it’s jean jail.

louis chuckled, a more uncomfortable sound that relaxed and happy. “i mean, it looks uncomfortable.. it’s obvious, haz.” always the joker, louis was. “and i want you to know that it’s okay,” the _i want it too_ was implied.

“ _oh,_ ” harry breathed out heavily, his eyes locking on louis’ lap. the other was naked, save for a towel, and it was pretty clear that louis would appreciate any type of touching right then.

///

harry had a hard time peeling off his jeans, but they were soon tossed aside along with his black shirt and headband. he left louis on the bed in favor of rummaging through their giant closet in search of their silk ties that were disregarded after an unsuccessful night of kink play.

he found two black ties that he figured would work nicely. sighing, harry brought them back into the room to see that louis hadn’t left from his spot, apart from the fact that the blankets and sheets were pushed to the end of the bed and his towel was nowhere to be seen.

“lay back, love.” he watched as louis complied nearly instantly, face downcast towards his chest. harry set the ties on the end table, reaching into the drawer to pull out the lube and louis’ special vibrator. it was long and pink, thin too, but had a high intensity vibration. “gonna make this nice for you too,” he muttered as he set those by louis’ thigh, getting a leg over the other’s waist and straddling him.

harry leaned forward and watched as louis’ face immediately flickered towards the wall. “c’mon, harry. stop taking forever and just do it already.”

that was all the push he needed.

he started to trail kisses from louis’ cheek, down his jaw, to his neck. harry nipped at the sensitive spots before moving down further, his hand taking louis’ and pulling them to his curly hair. he could tell that louis was tense and he hated making him feel like that, but then again, this was going to be pretty scary. all of it. so he understood the hesitation.

as he reached louis’ cock, he only spared him a light kitten lick which earned him a breathy moan. “can’t believe we’re gonna do this,” he heard louis mutter from above him, making harry  smirk against his thigh.

“just feel, babe. yeah?”

harry uncapped the lube with nimble fingers, drizzling a healthy amount over his fingers. he nudged louis’ legs open with his clean hand, the other wiggling his fingers around to get the lube to spread out, and he sucked on the silky smooth skin of louis’ inner thigh.

he thrusted in two fingers with no warning, louis moaning out loud for the first time since they started. “oh, _fuck_ , harry..” harry started a steady pace that was slow enough for louis to get used to it but hard enough to get his pulse racing. in and out, over and over again, his knuckles brushing along the outer rim teasingly with every movement. all louis was doing was letting out these unbearably hot squeals of approval with every light brush against his prostate.

“ha-arry, _fuck_ , stop. it’s, _ahyeah_ , getting good-” louis’ words were cut off by a rather long, delicious whimper caused by harry’s fingertips pressing insistently on his prostate.

harry complied, the slow drags of his fingers making louis keen. wiping his fingers off on the bed sheet, he kissed louis’ hip before straightening himself out at the foot of the bed. louis was still lying back on the bed, breathing hard and cock heavy on his belly. “get on your knees, love. we’re almost there,” almost to the most fucked up thing they’ve done yet.

louis teetered off the bed, listening to harry and settling on his knees, back to the bed. harry reached over his head grab one of the black ties before leaning down to grab louis’ wrists in his hand. “gonna love it, promise, boo.” he wrapped the silk cloth around louis’ wrists before tying it in three knots, one tighter than the next, behind louis’ back. next was the pink vibrator, which he flicked on just to listen to louis’ breathing hitch.

harry dragged the tip down louis’ side, watching as he shook bodily from the feeling. he traced a pattern down to louis’ lower back and further, between his arse cheeks and over his hole. it caught on the rim and louis thrusted forward without warning, nearly toppling over face first if it wasn’t for harry’s sudden grip on his shoulder.

“stay still, i haven’t even started yet.” harry brought the vibrator to louis’ hole again and shoved the entire length in. louis let out a dry sob and pushed back on it, guiding it deeper inside as harry kept his fingers pushing on the end.

louis started to mumble harry’s name repeatedly as harry pushed himself off the bed and in front of louis, taking in the look of the already wrecked boy. but louis’ lips were already parted, eager to take his cock in his mouth, which harry would be an idiot to deny him.

the rush of relief he got from the warmth of louis’ mouth was nothing compared to what he was about to do. he let louis get his length nice and wet with his saliva, a hand in louis’ hair just to control himself from thrusting into that pretty little mouth of his. harry brought a hand around to louis’ face, using his thumb to push up louis’ flattened eyelid. he stared for a moment of two, a bit stunned at what he found. he had expected a black hole or something, but a pink one, filled with muscles that were slowly pulsing. slowly, he let his thumb brush along the slick walls, only for a moment, because then louis was mumbling for him to get on with it _because i’m gonna come soon harry fuck please nownownow._

harry pulled away his thumb and gripped his shaft with two fingers, the other hand keeping louis’ empty socket open. louis’ whimpers were on a constant repeat as he finally sucked in a deep breath, pushing the head of his cock inside. it felt good, the hard squeezing on his dick, the muscles brushing along the slit. “i can’t fit anymore in,” he moaned out loud, keeping the head inside as he began to stroke his shaft in time with his barely-there thrusts. any more hard and he’d fall out, end up poking louis in the cheek.

louis was getting louder and louder, his hands struggling to keep the vibrator pressed snugly against his prostate with his hands behind his back. harry, on the other hand, was focused solely on his dick pressing inside the eye socket with each light thrust, his hand rubbing the base of his cock. he could feel the ridge of the head catch on the side of the eye, the bone digging into his cock in the most delicious way, the friction making him groan low from deep within his chest.

louis’ lips had fallen open as silent moans poured from his lips, his real eye now half-lidded with pleasure, cheeks flushed a blushing pink. louis was the first to come with a shout of harry’s name and the head of his cock brushing against harry’s shin. he came with long stripes that marked harry’s legs and the floor beneath them.

harry followed not a moment later, his left hand gripping louis’ hair so hard he was worried he’d give him a bald spot, his right hand still rubbing harshly at the free skin of his cock, and the head of his dick still stuck deep inside louis’ empty eye socket. he moaned low and laced with pleasure, a mixture of louis’ name and a slur of curse words as his come coated the inside of louis’ eye.

minutes passed before either of them moved. louis had managed to get the vibrator shut off, the only sign that he was even awake was the heavy breathing that ghosted over harry’s thighs. harry kept his hand on his shaft as he pulled out of louis, muttering apologies to him over and over. he found his shirt and was quick to start wiping away the come from louis’ cheeks as it slowly trickled from his eye, and made sure to be extra careful to clear all the liquid from louis’ empty socket as well.

///

harry had laid louis in bed, spooning him from behind and planting kisses all across his shoulder blades and neck. “i can’t fucking believe we did that, lou..” he praised him, kept his lips on louis’ skin the entire time he spoke. “you were so good, babe. love you so much.”

louis hummed in agreement, then his stomach growled as well.

“okay, okay. i’ll go make breakfast this time.”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not even sure sex in the eye socket can actually happen but?!?!!!?!?!1


End file.
